“Mommy, Don’t Go!” Tips for Easing Separation Anxiety in Dance Class

Your little one dances nonstop to music at home, ready to perform for anyone or anything willing to watch – human, stuffed animal or otherwise. So much in fact you sign up for a First Steps dance class. You buy the dance shoes, tights and leotard and the excitement builds. The first day of dance class finally arrives and you head to the studio. Just when you’re about to chasse away, two little hands grab your leg from behind, holding on for dear life and pleading “no, don’t go!” Enormous tears running down their cheeks, you stare in silent wonderment, what happened to that happy-go-lucky child who couldn’t wait for dance class?

Whether they’re 12 months or five years old, it’s normal for a child to show distress, anger and sadness when separated from their primary caregiver. Even though separation anxiety is normal, it’s still stressful for the parties involved – child, caregiver and teacher. That’s why we created these tips to help you and your child deal with separation anxiety better when going to dance class:

1. Be a good listener. When your child is afraid of being away from you to try new things, be empathetic and listen to their worries without dismissing them. Children like to feel validated, even if their fears seem small. It’s also helpful to avoid being critical or impatient.
2. Talk with the teacher. Team up with the dance teacher and develop a plan that will help your child have more confidence and less difficulty saying goodbye. Fill the teacher in on some of your child’s personality traits so they can connect with them better on a personal level.
3. Invite familiarity. Does your child have a favorite doll, stuffed animal or superhero cape they keep close to them? Having an item they know and love to bring into the classroom will help curb their anxiety.
4. Timing is everything. Studies show that children are more likely to act out with tantrums, yelling and crying when they’re tired, hungry or restless. Be sure to schedule their dance class around regular meals, snacks and nap times.
5. Stay calm and consistent. If you show distress, your child will most likely mimic your behavior. In order to stay consistent, create a ritual that includes a pleasant yet firm goodbye. Give hugs and kisses, then go! If you waver, it becomes confusing to the child. Also, reassure your child that the teacher will take good care of them while you’re gone.
6. Watch the clock. Hold off on getting that item you need at the store if it means you’re going to be late picking them up from class. Be sure to return when you say you’re going to return.
7. Make a deal. Let your child know ahead of time that if they want to take dance class, they have to go on their own. If they’re not able to do that, you’ll have to take a break and can try it again in a few months. Have your child repeat the “deal” you made so they understand. Once you get to class and they starting crying or throwing a tantrum, you can give one warning, “Remember what we talked about at home?” If you use this tactic, be sure to stick with it.
8. Practice separation/return games at home. Before your child begins dance class, practice separating/returning at home by telling your child you’ll be leaving the room but will be right back. You can even practice a game of dropping your child off to dance class and returning while at ho
9. Get to the studio early to ease the transition. Try to arrive at the dance studio a few minutes before class begins to ease the transition. This will give your child more time to settle in and remind them you’ll be there when class is over if a meltdown occurs.
10. Offer an imaginary bravery reward. Remind your child how brave and grown up they are by taking dance class on their own. You could even sprinkle imaginary “bravery dust” on their head telling them the dust will make them brave and strong so they can get through dance class and have lots of fun.

Separation from someone we love is never easy, whether it’s the child or the parent. Utilize these tips, practice patience and avoid being critical for the short time they’re in early childhood, and you might end up with a life-long dancer!